


Litost

by Dickie_Gayson



Series: Mori Shej [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: He also contradicts himself ever .3 seconds, Jason is Not Pleased, Mentions of Rape, They're both just really affection starved, and also both really messed up, angsty angst, mentions of Blockbuster and what he did, since no one else is helping them with their issues they'll help each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-14 21:42:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9204605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dickie_Gayson/pseuds/Dickie_Gayson
Summary: After a month of hiding out, Jason thinks he might be able to sneak away without getting caught. Naturally, he was proven wrong. There must be some sort of cosmic laugh track for whenever Dick shows up to mess with his plans. How exactly did he go from trying to kill Dick to comforting him? He really needs to look over his priorities.





	1. The Confrontation

**Author's Note:**

> Uguhu UGHH I am Not Pleased with how this turned out. It just...it isn't at all what I meant. However, I can't bring myself to scrap 9k.+ words. Fling me into the damn sun. It was actually going to be longer.
> 
> BUT ON THE BRIGHTSIDE, THERE WILL BE YET ANOTHER PART FOR WHAT I CUT OFF. AND ANOTHER ANOTHER PART.  
> Expect Baby Jaye and Tío Jay in at least one of them. 
> 
> ALSO thank you guys so much for the kudos and reviews. Omg I almost cried reading them, they're so great and really kept me going when all I wanted to do was throw this away at around 5k.
> 
> ALSO: THE SEQUEL: I take prompts and requests -finger guns-

After his assault on Dick, Jason had to lay low to avoid being found. So low, he was almost surprised he didn’t run into Brendan Fraser at the center of the damn Earth. Sure, he may have gone a bit overboard in his subterfuge, but one could never be too careful when it came to running from the Bats. It took every trick in his arsenal to keep the steadily growing clan off his back. His paranoia had reached its peak. For weeks, he monitored the hero community and tracked their movements. Jason wouldn’t even leave his hideout without watching the security feed and, hell, even the nearby traffic cameras first. Even still, he had a few close calls.

Funnily enough, he was nearly caught by those outside the family. He had been so focused on evading their techniques and methods that he forgot to account for the other heroes he managed to piss off. When he hurt Dick, nearly killed him, Jason brought himself under the hero community’s scrutiny with laser-like intensity. He honest to God debated on plating his temporary hideout with lead to keep the Supers from finding him. Then, he realized that’d probably be a little obvious and they’d just figure it out anyway. At least, if he gets caught by them now, he’ll have saved himself the trouble and money.

What a shitshow his life has become. Damn near every single one of his plans had to be scrapped. All because he couldn’t go through with the first step. Now, he was forced to hide in a fucking bunker, eating canned food and staring at monitors until the heat was off him. Still, he wouldn’t change his actions. Well, okay, he’d change the fact that he beat the shit out of Dick. He’d go about everything differently. There didn’t have to be blood.

 _God_ , there had been so much blood.

He still saw it when he closed his eyes. Saw the broken form on the floor, begging and pleading. Saw him leaning on the door frame, barely breathing. Saw the red on the pacifier, staining the clothes. In his dreams, the red spread and spread and _spread_. In his dreams, he didn’t stop kicking. Sometimes, it changed. They would be in a warehouse. He would hit the downed man over and over. There would be a crowbar in his hands and in the background there would be laughter, high and shrill and so grating. There would be a baby shrieking somewhere in the darkness. And there would be a song, softly coming from the broken man. It wouldn’t end. He’d hit and hit, screaming for silence but the song wouldn’t end. It wouldn’t end until _he_ did. Until there was no more sound. No more swinging, no more laughter or screaming. Nothing but blood. _So much blood._

Those dreams left him coated in a cold sweat, heaving with nothing to come up. He’d shake in his bed and press the heel of his palms to his eyes to try and erase the lingering memories. If only things had gone differently. If only he hadn’t lost his mind, been dunked in the Pit, gone to Ethiopia. _If only, if only._

From there, he’d rise and check his security before watching the monitors. Depending on his stock, he might test his luck and traverse the city in civilian gear. Sure, he should be perfectly fine walking unmasked around the city without anyone catching on to who he was, but still. These were heroes, _Bats_ , and if there’s one thing they excelled at, it was doing the fucking impossible. He wasn’t keen to be caught just yet.

Except, there was a tiny part of him that _did_ want to be caught. Wanted to face what he’d done. He also wanted to see their expressions when they realized who he was. Sure, Jason regretted what he’d done to Dick, but that didn’t mean he suddenly felt love for Bruce and the replacement. They still made his stomach churn and the haze creep to the edge of his mind. He might not hate Dick as much as he thought he did, but he sure as shit still hated the others.

Since he was being honest with himself, he also wanted to see Jaye again. He wanted to get to know the little girl carrying his name; wanted to be a good uncle. But, he destroyed that chance, just as he ruined everything else he touched. Maybe it was for the best. She didn’t need to know the fuck up that was ‘Uncle Jason’. Let her live and be raised with the glorified version of himself she’d no doubt be told. At least, then, she’d hold a little pride in her name. What right did he have to ruin it for her, especially after what he’d done?

He sighed to himself at the thought. Really, he would have loved to play the role of Unce Jay. It may surprise some, but Jason got along with children better than he did most adults. Did he want kids? Yeah, he honestly did. But, that wouldn’t happen. He couldn’t _let_ it happen. If he couldn’t control himself when he got too emotional, then how the hell could he ever hope to raise a child? Even more of a reason to stay away from Jaye. He couldn’t risk her safety like that.

Shit, he made it sound like he even had the chance to be around her. After what he did? There was no fucking way he’d be allowed within a hundred-foot radius of the little girl. That stung a little more than he’d like it to. It made the little plush elephant in his inner pocket seem to weigh a million pounds. The stuffed animal was an impulse purchase. He seen the little patchwork toy and immediately thought of the baby with the acrobat dad. Too bad she’d never get to play with it. But, he did this to himself and he’d live with the consequences.

A startled noise got caught in his throat as something made heavy impact with his helmet. Immediately, he flung himself backward, shook the sluggishness from his mind, and pulled out his pistols. _'Who the-’_

Dick.

Of course. Because Jason’s life wasn’t fucking ridiculous enough. It was one disaster after another, wasn’t it? He raised his pistols to keep the costumed vigilante at bay. Jason couldn’t help the almost queasy feeling he got from aiming the weapons at the hero. In his mind, all he seen was the steady spread of red. Dick outstretched one hand and caught the ricocheting escrima stick without so much as turning to look at the weapon. His attention was undividedly on Jason. That…was not good.

What was he going to do now? This was the first night he came out in his Red Hood gear since that night. He figured over a damn month would be enough time hiding to be able to sneak away. Clearly, he was wrong. Jason didn’t want to fight Dick. He really didn’t. But, if push came to shove, he would. He couldn’t let Dick get him. That would mean being thrown in Blackgate or, and this gave him nightmares, _Arkham_. Or, even worse, Bruce would show up. He…he couldn’t handle that. Not right now. He needed time. Needed to recuperate and revise his plans. He needed to escape.

“Now -’

Jason didn’t let him finish his statement. He made a wayward shot at Dick’s feet as a distraction. While the black and blue clad hero was busy avoiding the clumsy attack, Jason ran. Okay, so, maybe running hadn’t been his best plan, he’ll admit it. Being up high, in the air, was Dick’s forte. Not to mention he was fast; faster than Jason was. There was also the fact that this was Nightwing’s territory. Jason may have been hiding here for a while, but that’s nothing on the years Dick had to memorize the city, top to bottom.

He made it an admirable four buildings down before something, presumably Dick, sent him to the ground. Jason immediately started to struggle and buck against the weight that pinned him down. Being constrained like this only made Jason want to flee more. The panic was starting to set in. His chest heaved and, was it just him, or was someone laughing? No, no, he had to keep his head straight. There was no laughter. That was only in his mind. There was no reason to panic. It’s only Dick, he won’t hurt Jason. He won’t do that.

…But what if he did? What if wanted retribution for what Jason did to him, in his own home, no less? It’s what Jason would do. He needed to get out of here. It was hard to focus on his training when his own brain kept trying to drag him back to bound chairs and closed caskets. There was a sudden pressure on the underside of his jaw. It forced his head back and he had to look at the cold face that stared at him. Dick was using his escrima in the same manner Jason had used his gun to control him. Ordinarily, a stick wouldn’t scare him, but he was very well aware of the high-voltage taser they doubled as. _That_ was something he wasn’t keen on experiencing.

So, he laid there and stared in silence. Mentally, he counted and tried to keep his breathing even. The anxiety and fear was still there, but he couldn’t let himself focus on that. Instead, he focused on the quiet vigilante that held him captive. _'It’s just Dick. He won’t hurt me. It’s just Dick.’_ He repeated that mantra in his head in time with his breathing. It helped a little, but couldn’t stop the slight shaking that took over his hands. Jason curled them into fists in an effort to try and hide the tell. Before Dick had a chance to begin his interrogation, Jason spoke.

"I’m sorry.”

The words seemed to spill from his lips without his permission. The tone of his voice, even modified, was downright pathetic. He squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed thickly. That wasn’t what he intended to say. Hell, he hadn’t planned on speaking, period. But, apparently, his guilty conscience got the better of him. Dick had gone almost frighteningly still above him, and Jason was almost afraid to look. When he did open his eyes, he was greeted with a carefully blank expression. The pressure on his jaw did not lessen. Dick’s voice was just as pointedly neutral as his face.

“Why?”

Shit, there were a million and one answers to _that_ question. It was like a grab bag of fucked up. Rather than pick and choose which interpretation of the question to answer, he decided to ask for clarification.

“Ya gotta be a little more specific than that. Why what?”

The weapon was pressed just a bit harder into his flesh. It forced his head to tilt at an even more awkward angle. _'Ow, okay, this is getting uncomfortable.’_ Dick opened his mouth, as if to answer, but no words came out. He seemed to flounder for a bit. Maybe he was struggling with the situation as much as Jason was. Strangely, there wasn’t much comfort to be found in that. Who would have thought.

“Why did you come after me? Why do you want to kill me? Why _didn’t_ you kill me? Why call for help? Why…why comfort my daughter? _Why?_ ”

The more he spoke, the worse his voice became. He looked borderline broken, worse than the night he actually _did_ get broken. This wasn’t right. He shouldn’t be losing his composure so quickly over this. Jason knew Dick was better at keeping it under control. Yeah, he knew the older vigilante had some anger issues, which of them didn’t? But this…this fragile state, this breaking apart, it wasn’t _right_. There’s no way Jason was the only cause. He couldn’t be. Bats were better than this. _Dick_ was better than this. He was the perfect fucking Golden Boy. It didn’t make sense. And damn, it sent a feeling of unease slithering around his gut. He went to shift, but a firm press of the escrima ended that. Talking was getting a little difficult with the angle his head was at, but he’d endure. If Dick could do it, so could he.

“Well, damn, start with the hard questions, why don’t ya? You sure you wanna hear the answers on a rooftop in the middle of 'Haven? Who knows who might be listenin’.”

It was only partially a joke. One that fell rather flat, at that. There could be a whole list of people skulking around to hear this and Jason really didn’t want that. Especially since Dick was notorious for having morally ambiguous people after him for one reason or another. Jason did _not_ want to get caught up in that weird web. No thank you, check please. Hell, he’s been laying low and he’s _still_ hearing gossip from the criminal underground about ’ _Nightwing’s ass_ ’ this and ’ _Nightwing’s skin tight suit_ ’ that. Jason would have lost his shit ages ago.

Dick didn’t seem to find his joke very funny, not that Jason could blame him. From the way the older hero tensed minutely, he probably assumed that was a vague threat. Jason really wasn’t good at picking his words, it seemed. Maybe he should just start speaking in Shakespearean quotes. That could be his gimmick. It’d probably work out better for him in the end, honestly. No, wait, Shakespeare was just as much a cocky shit as he was. An irritated sound coming from Dick brought him out of his musings. Damn, he was really not in the right state of mind for this. He blamed it on being alone for so long and _not_ the copious amounts of trauma he was wrapped up in. Jason just made a little gesture with his hands to show he hadn’t meant it as a threat. Was Dick’s finger creeping toward the taser? Oh God, he did not want to taste 50,000 volts right now, or, you know, _ever_.

“Alright, alright, jeez. Sorry if this isn’t exactly something I want getting around.”

Just like the joke-that-wasn’t-a-joke, his words fell flat. He wanted to diffuse the situation, get that damn fractured glass look off Dick. This entire fucking situation set his teeth on edge. He noticed it before, that something was decidedly wrong with Dick. But right now, with the look and tone of his voice, the way he was being way too serious with his threats, Jason knew he was right. How the fuck did it go from him trying to kill Dick to trying to comfort him? Was he really that starved for affection he’d latch onto the first person that might give it to him? …That was a question he decided he didn’t want to think about and simply ignored the blatantly obvious answer. Instead, he wet his lips and spoke. He hated how unsure he sounded.

“I…Shit…I meant to kill you. Had these plans and ideas. I was gonna send _him_ a message. But I…I couldn’t do it. If you didn’t have that baby, I wouldn’t have hesitated and…I’m…kind of glad I did. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to punch you in the fuckin’ face _at least_ fourteen times but I-I don’t want you dead. Fuck, this is all **fucked**.”

For his part, Dick was quiet. It was actually getting very unnerving how quiet he was being. Dick was a chatterbox, this was a known fact. But the way he was just staring, blank and cold, was almost frightening. He wasn’t supposed to look like a statue. Scratch that, he wasn’t supposed to look like _him_. Bruce was the cold, quiet, unforgiving one. Not Dick. Dick was supposed to be his opposite; his foil. What happened? When he spoke, Dick’s voice was low and, man, Jason couldn’t even pinpoint the exact tone. It was like thin ice; cold but fractured.

“Who are you?”

At that, Jason was the one to go eerily still. Then, he began to squirm. Nope, nope, he was _not_ answering that. Fuck it, he’ll take the tasing if he got out of here with his anonymity. Suddenly, he felt the unmistakably sharp edge of a Wing-Ding _(God, that was such a stupid fucking name. Of course, Dick came up with it)_ pressing against his neck. Great, make that a taser AND a borderline-knife to his throat. He stilled once more. The shaking increased to full body and he felt himself getting ready to really panic. The part of him that was keeping calm made note that this was also something Dick should definitely not be doing. Threatening people at Wing-Ding point _(seriously, he needed to come up with a different name, this is just ridiculous)_ wasn’t usually his style. Maybe he really did change since Jason’s been gone.

“I can’t…Please, don’t make me answer that. I can’t. Dick, I…I _can’t_.”

If he wasn’t on the verge of a panic attack, Jason would have been mortified at the absolutely pitiful tone his voice took and the fact that he actually used Dick’s name in the field. The sheer terror that took over his being seemed to catch Dick off-guard. The hero actually backed off a bit while surprise colored his previously frigid expression. Almost on instinct, Jason took advantage of the opportunity. He hit Dick in his midsection in an attempt to wind and distract the older man. Apparently, the wounds weren’t as healed as Jason was led to believe. If they were, Dick wouldn’t have yelped in pain.

As quickly as he could, Jason scrambled away from the momentarily stunned hero. Maybe he could get away this time. Dick was still injured and the previous chase had to have taxed him at least a little bit. It wasn’t until he hit the edge of the building that he hesitated. Guilt chewed him up again. That was getting real old, real fast. Still, this might be his only opportunity and he had to take it. He turned and reached into his jacket. Dick was already on his feet and looked a little worse for the wear, if his slightly shaking shoulders were anything to go by. Fuck, why was he patrolling at all in his current state? Did he want to die?

Before he could think better of it, Jason tossed the small stuffed elephant to the hero who caught it effortlessly. He looked at the toy in both surprise and confusion before he turned his attention back to his apparent adversary.

“For her. You could let her know Uncle Jay misses her or something.”

That was a decidedly stupid move on his part. Beyond stupid, really. Way, way, WAY beyond stupid. Something he was going to completely and thoroughly beat himself up over later. He took Dick’s momentary surprise as a getaway. It wasn’t even one full building over before he was knocked over again. _'Note to self: Running from Dick is a Bad Idea.’_ This time, however, it wasn’t an escrima or tackle that brought him down. It was a small, explosive pellet thrown at his feet that did him in. Okay, so he should have been prepared for that. He knew Dick had those on him. However, he was way too distracted by what he just did and the fallout he’d have to deal with. Not to mention the creeping hysteria that flooded his veins. A sick feeling twisted in his gut. _'This is bad. This is bad. This is BAD.’_

Before he could fully stand, a foot swung into his view and he only had a brief moment to try and block it. It still felt like getting kicked by a fucking horse. Honestly, Dick probably hit harder with his feet than his hands. Jason went sailing back to the ground with incredible force. Wow, if this is what it felt like when he was kicking Dick, then he felt significantly more sorry than before. Rather than pin his whole body, Dick chose to put a foot on Jason’s throat and press down threateningly. There were several ways to get out of this position, but Dick was aware of every single one of them and Jason knew it. It was like he was waiting for Jason to try; waiting for him to give Dick a reason to stomp. _This wasn’t right._

“Now, you’re going to answer my questions. This isn’t up for negotiation. Did you or did you not just threaten my daughter?”

His voice, if Jason was being completely truthful, was _fucking terrifying_. There was something almost…unhinged about the way his voice dipped. Jason always wanted to see the Golden Boy lose it. He wanted to see Dick brought down to his level. Now that he’s seen it? He isn’t so sure he wanted it anymore. It was so unnatural. He could almost see Dick as a killer and that thought was horrifying. Trying to wrangle in a murderous Grayson would be a nightmare.

Jason felt an intense flare of indignation at Dick’s accusation. Why the _fuck_ did he think Jason was threatening Jaye? Nothing inherently malicious was mentioned. All he said was…Oh. _Oh_. That would make sense. Yeah, Jason was really not good at picking his words as of late. Then again, this would have been entirely avoidable if Dick knew who he was. But then that would mean _he_ would find out because Dick was his fucking lapdog. Jason was not ready for that confrontation. Fuck, he thought he was ready for this confrontation but, obviously, he was wrong. If he couldn’t handle speaking to Dick, then there was absolutely no way he could speak to Bruce. Not yet.

He debated for a moment the pros and cons of letting Dick just crush his throat. That would certainly save him some trouble, wouldn’t it? As if he read Jason’s mind, Dick applied a discomforting amount of pressure on his neck. Yeah, no, Jason was not feeling the whole 'crushed trachea’ thing. He let out a frustrated sound before he spoke. It was clear he was not at all pleased with either his position or the accusation.

“No, that wasn’t a threat, Dickhead. I was being _nice_. I’d never hurt a child.”

Dick just stared at him with that wrong look.

“Take off the helmet.”

Again, as if those were the magic words, Jason started to struggle. _No no no no._

“Take it off or I _break_ it off.”

Jason’s heart was speeding like a jackrabbit’s as he stared up at Dick. There was no trace of the man he used to know. This one was entirely serious about his threat. Jason knew Dick could be brutal, downright vicious, but this was like staring at a stranger. Why that hurt as much as it did, Jason didn’t want to think about. All he did know was _something_ had happened when he was gone.

“…What happened to you?”

He felt like that little fucking fifteen-year-old again with the vulnerable tone. No, he couldn’t get caught up in this. He had his own problems. Hell, he had a fucking _mountain_ of issues to deal with. There was no way adding whatever baggage Dick was carrying with him to his own pile was a good idea. Still, seeing the way Dick seemed to seize at the words, didn’t sit right with him. Whatever occurred really fucked up the seemingly untouchable hero. _No_ , he had people he could turn to. Everybody loved him and he was a fucking blabbermouth. He could get his own help.

Shit, Jason already knew this was over for him. Dick was a Bat. That basically guaranteed emotional constipation and a tendency to self-destruct. Given Dick’s penchant to blame himself for everything and that stupid hero-complex, Jason just knew he was stewing in this in total silence. Why did his compassion have to rear it’s head now? Oh, who was he kidding? He was a fucking bleeding heart and he knew it. Jason would never admit it, though. He had _some_ dignity left; not much, but some.

With shaking hands he didn’t even try to hide anymore, he pulled off his helmet. His breath came to him short and sharp as he tried to keep himself calm. _'It’s okay. Maybe he won’t recognize me. He’s not them. I’m fine. It’ll be fine.’_ Dick just stared at him for a minute. It had to be the longest minute of his life. Well, his current life.

Jason could pinpoint the exact moment recognition hit Dick. The way he inhaled was so sharp and sudden that Jason almost felt bad for his ribs. He let his escrima drop to the ground as he all but jumped away from the downed man like he was a leper. Jason sat up against his forearms and watched as the older vigilante paled dramatically.

“No. No, not again. You’re…you’re not real.”

Teal eyes widened as he watched Dick press his hands to his eyes, as if that could erase the situation they were in. Jesus, has Dick hallucinated about him before? Was it nightmares? Had his death really gotten to Dick that much? Sure, he named his daughter after Jason, but this? This was a whole new level of trauma. Dick continued to speak and Jason wasn’t sure if it was to himself or not.

“Who…Clayface? Spinebender? Mirage? Damn it, _WHO?!_ ”

Alright, so Dick thought he was an imposter. Really, Jason shouldn’t be surprised. He’d probably think the same thing, were he in Dick’s position. This should probably get cleared up before Dick kicks his head clean off his shoulders. It looked like that was only about two seconds away from happening. God, he was an absolute wreck.

“Di- 'Wing, it’s…it’s really me. I swear.”

Later, he’d really have to reflect on how everything kept getting turned around on him. First, he went to kill Dick only to save him. Then, he wanted to run away and keep his identity a secret, only to actually try and convince Dick it was really him. What even were his priorities anymore? His decision only felt a little more right when he saw the almost feral way Dick shook his head. Jason might want to stay hidden, but Dick was clearly falling apart at the damn seams and nobody else seemed to notice. _Motherfucking bleeding heart._

“You’re lying!”

Yep, that was definitely an angry and threatening walk. Dick approached him with quick, irate steps. Jason had to subdue the urge to skitter backward from the hero. No, he could do this. Fuck his fears. They won’t control him. He won’t allow it. Not anymore. That didn’t stop his heart from jackhammering in his chest. His throat felt so dry all of a sudden.

“I’m not. I can prove it! You remember the cocaine lab? The first time we met? I nearly fucked up the whole thing. When we were done, you told me I needed to work on my sidekick. You…you gave me your Robin suit that day.”

That stopped Dick dead in his tracks. If Jason were feeling funny, he would say that Dick looked like he seen a ghost, but he wasn’t really feeling the humor right now.

“J-Jason?”

He sounded so hopeful. So broken. It made Jason’s heart clench. There was no way he affected Dick that much. No, he couldn’t have. He _couldn’t_. Because…because if he did, then that meant Jason was wrong. At least, wrong up until a point. But that still meant he was _wrong_. God, he nearly **killed** Dick. And here he was, looking like the world was simultaneously handed to him and torn away. Dick had no reason to look at him that way. Not after what happened.

He was suddenly in front of Jason. His hands hovered like he wanted to touch but was unsure if he could. Maybe he was afraid Jason would disappear the moment they made contact. Is that what he dreamt about? Jason tried to swallow down the lump in his throat as he stared at Dick.

“Hey, Big Bird.”

The air was almost strangled out of his lungs from the tight hug he found himself in. Dick was holding Jason like he was the only thing keeping the older vigilante together. His whole body shuddered from the sobs he tried to keep inside him. Just like that, Jason lost it himself. He wrapped his hands around his brother’s torso and held on like his life depended on it. It was only a vague memory of what he did that kept him from squeezing Dick as hard as he wanted to. Enough damage was wrought by his hands. He didn’t need to exacerbate the old wounds. Tremors racked his body. It felt like his heart was going to burst from the way it was beating and twisting with pain. Tears pricked his eyes as he trembled against the warm embrace. _Fuck_ , he missed this, the affection, so much. He didn’t deserve it.

That thought was almost enough to get him to pull away, but the tight grip Dick had him in left him without a choice. Beyond the guilt, he was perfectly content to endure the hug. Jason would deny all claims that he was affection-starved, even if it was true. Little gasps and sobs came from the two as they sat on the rooftop. Quiet ’ _I’m sorry_ ’s passed back and forth until it was uncertain who was saying it anymore. They sat like that until the trembling calmed its tempo but their grips never loosened. Finally, _finally_ , Dick pulled back just enough to look at Jason’s face again. Wonderment filled the anguished face once more.

“How…What happened? They..they said you died. Where have you been? Why…Why..?”

It seemed like he couldn’t finish the question, but the pain twisting his features was enough of an indicator as to what he was asking. _'Why attack me? Why hurt me?’_ That sent a fresh wave of guilt surging through Jason. He let out a shaky breath before finding the strength in himself to speak.

“Can we talk somewhere else?”

Dick nodded rapidly but seemed unwilling to let go of his almost-death grip on Jason. After another moment, he backed off and stood up. Jason grabbed his helmet and followed suit with unsteady feet. There was a good deal of uncertainty in the look he gave Dick. Where would they go from here? He’d leave it to the black and blue clad hero. Dick ran a shaky hand through his hair before he seemed to remember something. He turned unexpectedly on his heel and jogged to the further edge of the building. When he returned, the small elephant was in his hands. He looked at it with a small, frail smile.

“Couldn’t leave her first present from her Uncle behind, could I?”

The words wobbled slightly with unbidden emotions. If it’s _that_ hard to hide it all, then the sheer volume of emotions he must be feeling is staggering. Jason let out a breath of laughter, just as unsteady in tone as Dick.

“Yeah, can’t have that.”

They were both complete and total wrecks. This wasn’t how Jason planned things. It’s not how he wanted everything to go down. But, well, maybe this was how it _should_ go down. He felt jittery and the anxiety still lingered in his nerves. It was going to be a long, long night. Still, maybe…maybe he could salvage this. Maybe this can end on good terms. God, did he hope it would end on good terms. But, something nagged at Jason. The ever-lingering fear that Bruce would find out. That Dick would tell him. It made the panic and haze want to creep in. To quell his own worries, he spoke up.

“Dick, you can’t tell anyone. Not yet. Just, promise me you won’t. _Especially_ B-Bruce.”

Saying the name out loud was so much more difficult than saying it in his head. It left a funny taste in his mouth. The man in question gave him a long, sad look before he nodded. Jason was willing to bet he’d agree to jump off the Empire State Building right now if Jason asked it of him.

“I won’t tell. Promise.”

As if to seal the promise, he took the comm from his ear and tossed it aside. Jason raised his eyebrows at that. It seemed a bit much, but he appreciated the sentiment. Plus, he knew how Bruce could be. It wasn’t beyond the man to hack the others comms if he suspected something was up.

The trip was a silent one with Jason shadowing Dick’s moves. The acrobat wasn’t being nearly as, well, _acrobatic_ as he usually was. There were no flashy moves or unnecessary flips. It was probably from his still injured ribs. Every so often, Dick would look back, as if to make sure Jason was still there and not a figment of his imagination. It made Jason a little queasy. Just how bad has Dick’s mental state become?

Eventually, they got to an apartment just off The Spine. Jason politely ignored how long it took Dick to undo his own defenses. He knew from experience how frustrating it could be to undo such a thing with shaking hands. Dick slid the window open before suddenly going still. It made a spike of fear shoot up Jason’s spine. Was something wrong? Did someone break in? Oh, God, don’t say someone hurt Jaye. Dick just gave him a side-glance.

“Forgot about the babysitter. Wait a minute and I’ll send them away.”

Jason let out a breath of air he didn’t even realize he was holding. He had to stifle the sudden urge to punch Dick for worrying him like that. Instead, he just gave a slight nod and watched the hero slip through the window. The solitude gave Jason a minute to reflect on the really bad decisions that led him to this moment. He was still weighing in on whether or not revealing his identity to Dick was one of those decisions when said hero stuck his head through the window and waved him in.

He swallowed down his anxiety and entered the sparse apartment. It only took a glance around to realize this was Dick’s new apartment. The babysitter _(and just who was babysitting for the hero, anyway?)_ should have tipped him off, but it really sunk in standing here. He didn’t quite know how to feel about Dick bringing him back to where he lived after what happened in his last home. It almost felt wrong to be here. But the way Dick was looking at him, no mask to hide his eyes this time, squashed that feeling. The look he was getting almost made the tears return. Jason didn’t deserve that look. He took off his own domino; the last thing between Red Hood and Jason Todd.

Dick stepped closer and stared at him with such sincere intensity, it nearly burned. He watched the mild confusion take over the other man’s face. Jason knew why. Since his death and resurrection, he’s changed. The Pit took some scars and tinged his eyes. They were greener than they used to be. It seemed Dick realized where the shade came from by the way the confusion morphed into shock and, this hurt a bit, horror. Jason just stepped back and lowered his eyes. He couldn’t look at that expression any longer. His emotions were already scrubbed raw enough as is. _That_ would do nothing but worsen the situation, he knew it.

Instead of the accusations he was expecting for someone dunked in the Lazarus Pit, he got a firm hand on his shoulder. Still, he didn’t look up. Then, he was yanked into yet another fierce hug. Dick shoved his face into the crease of Jason’s neck and shoulder as he trembled. Jason returned the hug again with as much intensity as he could without worsening the others injuries. When Dick spoke, it was muffled against his leather jacket, but Jason could still understand him.

“I’m sorry. Whatever happened, I’m sorry. I should have been there. I gave you the suit, I…I should have been there. _God, I’m so sorry._ I failed you.”

Jason choked back a sob at the words. That’s what he’s been telling himself since his resurrection. Over and over, like a mantra, he’d tell himself that they failed him. They weren’t there for him. It was their fault. But hearing it now? He wanted nothing more than to shake Dick and tell him he was wrong.

“Shut up, you masochistic fuck. It wasn’t your fault…It, shit, it _wasn’t_. Joker did this. And I put the suit on without your help. I blamed you for a long time. I did, but I was wrong. Dick, I was _wrong_.”

That just caused the other man to cry harder and tighten his death grip. Saying it all was almost cathartic, but it still _hurt_. It left an aching, hollowed out feeling in his chest. His own tears slid down the black and blue suit as he buried his face into his brother’s shoulder.

“I…I didn’t even get to go to your funeral, Jason. _He didn’t even tell me_.”

Those words caused Jason to go stone-still. The absolute pain and betrayal that washed through him hurt. Jason backed up a bit, effectively putting an end to their embrace. Dick’s face was splotchy and his eyes completely bloodshot. Jason doubted he looked any better.

“What?”

He really, really, _really_ hoped he heard Dick wrong or misinterpreted him. _Something_. Because that…what he was saying was just ridiculous. There’s no way…

“Bruce didn’t even tell me you died! I was off-world for a mission when you…when it happened. He never told me. I found out when I returned and seen it in the database. I missed your funeral. I wasn’t there _again_. I’m so sorry.”

Dick seemed to hold himself as if that could keep him together while he shook apart. Jason’s breathing started coming up short and fast. _'Bruce didn’t even tell him. He didn’t even tell Dick. I didn’t even matter enough for my own brother to know.’_ He didn’t even realize just how badly he was shaking until Dick tried to calm him down. Jason shoved him backward and looked around wildly. His eyes landed back on Dick. He looked hurt from the rejection. It made Jason close his eyes and try to calm his frazzled nerves before he blacked out again. This wasn’t Bruce. Dick didn’t deserve his anger. He had to remind himself over and over. It was Bruce, not Dick, who should get his wrath. Thoughts of the baby in the next room helped him strangle down the beast in him. He could do this.

 When he looked back up, he noticed Dick open his mouth, probably to apologize again. Jason didn’t think he could handle that anymore. Instead, he just held up a hand to ask for a moment. He sucked in deep breath after deep breath. Finally, when he felt stable enough, he lowered his hand.

“The Pit, it…messed me up. I can’t- I can’t control myself anymore. Too many emotions and I just lose it.”

Admitting his weakness was hard, but he had to get it out there. Dick looked like he wanted to engulf him in yet another bone-crushing hug but refrained. Instead, he just nodded with a look of agony on his face. Was he _still_ feeling guilty? Then again, they were both mentored by the same man and self-blame seemed to be a sort of a staple in their lessons. The two of them alone could probably hold entire seminars about it. They’d be a therapist’s dream.

“It’ll be okay, Jay. We..we can work on it.”

We. Even after everything, Dick still said _'we’_. Said it like Jason hadn’t explicitly stated he wanted to murder him. Like Jason didn’t almost kick him to death. What is with that man?

“How can you say that? After what I did to you?”

The questions hurt to say and his voice only further illustrated that fact. He was terrified that Dick would suddenly come to his senses. He didn’t deserve this kindness, but he didn’t want to lose it either. He didn’t want to lose his brother again. _He didn’t want to be alone._

Dick, for his part, looked equally scared. Why? He took a careful step closer to his newly rediscovered brother like he was a skittish animal. Honestly, Jason almost felt like a skittish animal. Everything in him was screaming to 'run’ but he ignored all of it. He was going to see this through to the end, whatever that may be.

“I don’t know _why_ you did it, but you didn’t let me die. You called Donna. You comforted Jaye. That says a lot.”

Jason just shook his head in denial.

“Why are you trying to erase what I did? _I_ was the reason Donna needed to be called. _I_ was the reason Jaye needed comfort. _I_ left you in a pool of your own blood. I almost _killed_ you!”

It took real effort to keep from screaming at Dick. Why was he trying to make excuses for Jason? Why was Jason trying to sabotage this for himself? God, he just wanted the acceptance. He wanted to take the forgiveness and smother himself with it. So why, _why_ was he fighting it? His hands found their way to his hair and he pulled as he fought to keep himself in control. It wouldn’t be surprising if Dick could hear his teeth grinding from over there.

Suddenly, there were hands over his. They tried to gently ease his fingers of their death grip. Dick’s voice was soft. He could feel the hands on top his shaking.

“I’m not trying to erase it. I’m trying to figure out what happened to my baby brother and help him. I’m trying not to lose you again. I don’t want to lose you _again_.”

Dick’s voice cracked at the end from the torrent of emotions that bubbled within him. Jason was nearly gasping for air at this point. Hearing that…Jason hadn’t even realized it’s what he wanted, no, what he _needed_. Slowly, as if he was afraid Jason would push him away again, Dick pulled him back into his arms. His grip was softer but no less warm. Jason couldn’t hold back the sob as he buried his face once more against Dick’s shoulder. The tears came harder and the shaking more violent. He could feel Dick’s own silent trembling.

“I don’t want to lose you either. I need…I need help. Dick, I need you. I can’t do this on my own. I _can’t_.”

His voice was hoarse and any pretense of control he had was so far gone, he doubted it’d ever come back. At the moment, he didn’t care. It was like once the floodgates opened, they couldn’t be shut. All the hurt and pain that built up over the years just came tumbling out. And Dick took it all with soft strokes against his hair and warm whispers. He could hear the hitching in Dick’s breath as he tried to comfort Jason.

“I’m not going anywhere, Little Wing. I’ll be right here with you. I promise. We’ll figure this out. It’ll be okay. You’re strong, Jay. We can do this.”

It sounded like he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince Jason. Still, it helped calm the distressed man somewhat. It didn’t stop the pain completely. It didn’t still the tears, but it helped. They stood there for a while and soaked up the comfort the other exuded. After he calmed a bit more, Jason pulled back just enough to look Dick in the eye.

“I’m not the only one who needs help.”

His tone left no room for doubt. Jason knew something was wrong with Dick. From the almost frightened look that took over his bright blue eyes, Jason was downright positive about it.

“Jason, I-’

He cut Dick off before he could try and deny it all.

"I _know_ something’s wrong. You wouldn’t threaten me the way you had, even with what I did. And…you’re just not right. You look like you’re a breath away from literally shattering. You want to help me? Well, I want to help you too.”

Dick’s lips trembled from the obvious effort it took him to hold back his emotions. Jason didn’t know why he bothered at this point. They already crossed that uncomfortable bridge. It looked like he wanted to protest further, but he also knew Jason was equally as stubborn as he was. And maybe, just maybe, he wanted the help as much as Jason did.

“Jay, so much has happened. I don’t even know where to start. Everything’s just…it’s all fallen apart. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

That brought a frown to Jason’s lips. Sure, he had monitored the family and such, but he didn’t exactly delve into everything they’ve done. Okay, so maybe he _did_ track Bruce that closely. But Dick wasn’t his main concern, so he didn’t think to follow the going-ons of his life. He made a slight gesture to the seating off to his right. If they were really going to hash all this out right now, then they should probably get comfortable. Dick moved without hesitation or resistance and took a seat on the couch while Jason sat diagonal to him in an armchair.

He waited patiently for Dick to find his tongue. The acrobat ran a hand through his hair; a nervous habit. His leg bounced up and down rapidly in his distress. Speaking about their emotions was never a strong suite in their 'family’. Really, it was only moments like this, where they can’t hold it back anymore and just explode, that they get anything resolved. Dick let out a heavy sigh and stared at his hands as he started to speak.

“Shouldn’t we be talking about you? You’re the one that came back from the _dead_. My issues aren’t as pressing.”

Jason didn’t know whether to be amused or irritated at Dick’s very transparent attempt at a changing the conversation. He let out a scoff and an exaggerated roll of the eyes.

“ _Please_ , I’ve had years to think about it. Whatever you’ve got going on is fucking you up and _you’re_ the one with a kid to take care of. We can focus on my mountain of issues later.”

His effort to water down his own trauma was just as obvious as Dick’s poor change of subject. For his attempts, he got a slight glare but there was no real heat behind it. Then, Dick dropped his gaze and his shoulders sagged.

“Alright, yeah, you’re right. Jaye’s more important than, well, everything. Guess I gotta suck it up, huh?”

It was a solid, but ultimately futile, attempt to lighten the mood. Jason doubted even God himself could achieve that at this point. Still, he flashed Dick a crooked grin to let him know he caught the effort. But in the returning silence, the smiles fell back to frowns and tremors returned to once calmed hands.

“I’m only gonna…I just..I don’t want to get into it all. Not right now. I can explain some. The worst. But just not all. Okay?”

Despite the fact that he knew bottling it all up would only make it worse, Jason nodded. Really, he felt for Dick. Telling others the fucked up shit that hurt you was never easy. He **hated** it. It was partially why he suggested talking about Dick’s problems instead. Cowardly? Yes, but he didn’t care. He just wasn’t ready. What he shared was already too much and, still, not enough. He remained silent to allow Dick time to put his thoughts into words and get them out. This was always the worst part for them. It took time and patience; things Jason was surprised but grateful he had right now.

“Blockbuster, you heard of him?”

The name rang a few bells. He was a major crime lord working in 'Haven. At least, up until his death. Jason heard more than a few tales about that freak. Tall, ugly, and could twist someone’s head around in a full one-eighty. There had been ridiculous rumors that Nightwing shot him. _Those_ rumors made Jason laugh out loud when he heard them. What idiots. At his affirmative nod, Dick continued on.

“He was mad at me for screwing with his business. For…for his mother’s death. Real mad. He found out who I was. Found out I was Dick Grayson.”

That was not good. At all. He was only a few sentences in, and Jason already knew this was going to get very, _very_ ugly. It caused an uneasy feeling to curl up inside him.

“To get back at me, prove I was powerless, to _punish_ me, he went after everyone I knew. He blew up my apartment building. Shot a reporter, Maxine Michaels, just because she was _talking_ to me. He wanted to kill everyone I came in contact with. Any clerk who rings me up. Any kid who smiles at me. All because he could. Because it’d hurt me. He was going to kill them all because of _me_.”

Dick was shaking harder now with the memories. Hearing it made Jason feel sick. This, _this_ is why Bruce’s way could never work. Look what happened when a criminal of Blockbuster’s caliber was left alive. Innocent people died and innocent people suffered. No matter how right he was, his feelings just couldn’t match it. Not right now. There was no smugness to be felt while Dick looked so close to completely coming apart. Jesus, to think he actually wanted this at one point. That made him sound like Blockbuster and the thought absolutely ripped at him. He wanted to make Dick suffer just like that _monster_ had. It made him want to vomit. Any rebuke against Dick’s self-blaming he had was cut silent as Dick continued speaking.

“He…he had Haly’s burnt down around me. God, Jason, he burned it all down! There were so many people. I tried to save them all. I couldn’t. I couldn’t. It was all I had left. That was all I had left of my family and _he took it from me!_ ”

The air seemed to get caught in his lungs at those words. He couldn’t imagine the toll that sort of personal attack took on the man. Jason’s own mother betrayed him to the Joker and _that_ left it’s own special brand of trauma on him. But to have what little actually good memories of his family he had left torched around him? _Fuck_. Blockbuster was beyond lucky he was dead at this point because Jason was really not feeling charitable. What he would have done to that _thing_ would have been downright sadistic. The shaking in his hands was for an entirely different reason this time. Dick must not have noticed the stiffening of his posture or the way his eyes seemed greener than they were just moments before because he continued spilling that which he had kept pent up for so long.

“-Tarantula appeared. I shouldn’t have let her. But his words just kept ringing in my head. All those people. He wouldn’t stop. Not ever. I..I let her shoot him. _I let him die._ How could I do that? His blood is on my hands. His blood and all the others. I told her no. She just told me to be quiet. I said _no_.”

At this point, Dick’s breathing had really picked up. There was a look in his eyes. Jason recognized it. He was caught in the past, reliving the events that hurt him so. Jason moved to try and bring him back to reality. Nobody should be caught in that sort of personal hell. Well, maybe _some_ deserved it, but not Dick, no matter what he thought. However, as soon as his hand came close to contact, Dick all but froze. He even stopped breathing. A look of near-terror took over his face. Jason immediately yanked back his hand and mirrored Dick’s expression. The trembling evolved into full-blown shakes for the panic-stricken hero. He was hyperventilating now.

Fuck, _fuck_. What was he supposed to do about this? Jason skimmed over the implication of Dick’s sudden panic attack. He really couldn’t afford to go down that path right now. No doubt, he’d absolutely lose it to the haze. Right now, he had to focus on calming Dick down. That was going to be a feat when he could hardly keep himself calm. When he spoke, his voice was just loud enough to get through to Dick without being overbearing. He kept his distance from the shaking man.

“Dick, listen to me. You need to _breathe_. Come on, do the count. Three in, four hold, five out. It’s only me here.”

He could see Dick try to maintain the meditative technique. Jason repeated the mantra over and over until it seemed like his brother was coming back to himself. Then, Dick blinked away the tears before he squeezed his eyes shut and pressed the heel of his palms to his eyes. He seemed to close in on himself.

“I’m sorry. _I’m sorry_. I’m over here crying about my problems and you _died_.”

The strangled laugh that came from his throat was almost hysteric. Jason frowned before he edged closer. He looked for cues to see if the advance was unwanted, but Dick seemed fine now. Well, 'fine’, given the situation. This time, it was his turn to wrap his brother in a hug. Dick clung to him like a lifeline. How did it come to this? Jason closed his eyes and willed away the venomous green. Later. He can worry about this later. One thing was for certain, though. He was, without a doubt, paying a certain spider a long overdue visit after he leaves.

“Dick, our suffering isn’t a competition. We’ve both been hurt. Bad. The best we can do is help each other. If we make it a contest of who deserves to cry or heal, neither of us will ever get better.”

Saying it felt good, he’d admit it. Before coming to 'Haven, Jason was so hellbent on retribution and easing his own suffering that he didn’t even think about what pain the others may have gone through. He wouldn’t think about Bruce right now. _That_ was a box of vipers he needed to tame on his own. Dick let out another choked laugh, but it was certainly more sane than the last one.

“Jeez, Jay, when did you get so wise?”

At that, he let out his own little chuckle. The haze still lingered like an ill-omen in the back of his mind. For the moment, however, he’d be okay. _They’d_ be okay.

“Hey, last I checked, _I_ was the bookworm here. I’ve always been wise. I’ve just been hiding it. No need for you to get jealous, now.”

The trembling of Dick’s shoulders seemed to stem more heavily from his amusement than his sadness this time. Jason would count that as a win in his book. There was still slight hitching in their breaths and the awkwardness might set in soon. The pain was still there. Their shaking hadn’t fully subsided just yet. But for now, things were…better. Jason would take that.

“Yeah, I almost forgot you were a nerd. Thanks for reminding me, Little Wing.”

Jason gave a snort and a playful nudge but didn’t move from his position.

“Anytime, Big Bird.”


	2. The Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT AND THIS PIECE OF SHIT! I have been utterly dead and having some medical issues. 
> 
> This chapter is going to be much more lighthearted and happy than the other two. Jay and Dick deserve some happiness. Also bcus I'm totally planning on wrecking their lives very shortly, so I figured I'd space out the angst lmao. I am by no means fluent in Spanish or Romani and get by with what I can, so any corrections are welcome!
> 
> From here on out I'll be messing with the timelines and such and switching around when things occur canon-wise.

It hadn't taken much convincing on Dick's part to get Jason to stay the rest of the night. Truthfully, Jason didn't really want to leave. His anxiety and the lingering effects of the Pit, however, wanted him to hightail it out of there ASAP. It left the taste of ash on his tongue and his stomach twisting in knots. The desire for the comfort Dick offered warred with the completely rational (alright, maybe only  _slightly_  rational) fear that Bruce was going to kick the door in at any second. To be fair, Bruce had absolutely zero concept of privacy and personal boundaries when it came to others, particularly his 'children'.

That's how he found himself sprawled out on Dick's couch at five in the morning. He slept in fits and shifts. The nightmares chased away his rest and the unease at being in a place he wasn't absolutely sure was safe didn't help. By six, he was ready to leave. There was a stab of pain at the thought. He didn't want to leave, but he had to. He didn't want to be alone, but that was the only way he'd really feel safe, wasn't it? Damn, if that thought didn't hurt. That's who he is now, though. A broken and battered shell of a man, only comforted in his solitude but yearning for so much more. He battled back the thickness in his throat as he started to put on his boots. All he had to do was slip out the window, no need to wake Dick. For a moment, he wondered how Dick would react. Would he think this was all just a fever dream, a hallucination of what could be? Last night only proved that it wouldn't be the first time such a thing happened. Maybe he'd leave a note, just to reassure his brother.

As he searched for a blank sheet of paper and a pen in the mess that was Dick's table, Jaye started to wake up in the next room. He paused his rummaging once the sounds of her gurgling reached his ears. It only took a moment's contemplation to decide on going to get her. As much as staying made him nervous, he also wanted to take the chance to really see her. Plus, Dick needed this time to sleep. The guy looked like he was about to keel over from deprivation. So, he made his way to the room quietly. The site that greeted him was heartwarming, to say the least. Dick was passed out on his bed with Jaye sprawled across his chest. It seemed as if she wasn't awake just yet, only dreaming. He crinkled his nose at the sight of the puddle of drool forming on Dick's chest. Both of his hands cradled the baby as he slept soundly. She refused to let go of her father's shirt as she started to wriggle about. That seemed to wake Dick right up. He blinked dazedly while his hands automatically swept over Jaye, as if to make sure she was still there. Comforted by her presence, he sat up, still obviously tired, and prepared to start his morning routine.

Taking that as his cue, Jason stepped up and offered to watch her so Dick could get a little more sleep. Lord knows he needed it. It still completely baffled Jason how his brother was able to hold a full-time job as a cop, keep up his nighttime vigilante life, and take care of a baby. He would honestly start believing Dick was some sort of supernatural entity if it weren't for the fact that he could see the bags under the hero's eyes from across the room. If Dick didn't slow down, he was going to crash and that was going to be a monumental wreck that, surprisingly, Jason wasn't eager to witness. It took a bit of nagging to get his brother to actually hand her over and go back to sleep. Ordinarily, he'd have to get up for work in just a few short hours, but the unexpected arrival of his previously deceased brother was enough of an occasion to call off. That, in itself, was a miracle to Jason. Dick was only second behind Bruce in terms of being a workaholic. No doubt, the big man himself instilled those 'grind yourself into the dirt rather than take a break' work ethics into the vigilante. God, who let that man ever adopt a child to begin with?

Of course, Dick didn't fall back asleep before he absolutely overloaded Jason with every possible item the baby might ever need in the few hours they'd be separated, and then some. Jason almost physically wrestled the man back to his bed. Though, Dick's almost smothering paternal actions did bring a small grin to his lips once Dick closed his eyes. It was good to know the little girl had a father that really cared. Not that he doubted Dick's capacity to love or care for the child. He just knew how their particular lifestyle could be. Not to mention, Bruce wasn't exactly the best person to look to when it came to examples of paternal affection. Jason liked to assume Dick got it from Alfred. He wondered if they knew about the baby. She looked like a newborn, and given that she arrived in the week span Jason was gone, he wouldn't doubt that she was just over a month old. He frowned at the thought. If her mother was who he thought she was, then Jason was relatively certain Dick hadn't informed anyone of her existence, save the babysitter. He made a mental note to ask later. Then, he scrapped that note. It could be an emotional minefield and they were already dancing on thin ice to begin with.

Jason made his way back to the small living room and sat back down on the couch. All thoughts of escaping were gone as he held his niece carefully. She was so incredibly small in his arms. The scars crisscrossing his flesh made a stark, almost sickening contrast to her smooth, unmarred skin. There was an unfounded fear that he'd hurt her just by holding her. Jason knew he wouldn't, not on purpose. But that didn't stop the tendrils of doubt from curling their way through him. What if he lost control? What would he do? God, he didn't even want to imagine it.

He took a few deep breaths to steady himself and looked at Jaye. She blinked up at him with sleepy eyes. It was still so odd to him when he caught the baby's unmistakably Grayson eyes. No, not odd. Surreal was a better description. He was holding a mini-Dick Grayson. That's exactly how he'd describe the baby with absurdly blue eyes, deeply tanned skin, and curly black hair. The mother, and he's nearly positive it was Tarantula, deserved no connection to her. The date of Blockbusters murder, if he remembered correctly, corresponded eerily well with the time frame it'd take for the baby to be conceived. Once he was gone, he'd have to do a bit more research and pay her a very painful visit. If he was right, he would be hard pressed not to kill her. But, he wouldn't, only because Dick would blame himself. He  _knew_  Dick would blame himself and Jason was just not having that. He wouldn't be the one to add more trauma to the man's already fucked up psyche. However, he would absolutely drill it into her thick skull that she wouldn't ever come near Dick or Jaye again. Preferably with an actual drill. He'd have to see what he could get away with in the prison.

Jaye gurgled at him. Her pudgy little hands flailed a bit and hit him on his chest, breaking him from his reverie. It brought a smile to his lips. He cooed back at her, though he kept his voice low. Not only did he not want to disturb her father's sleep, but he really didn't want Dick hearing him doing baby talk. Jason wasn't embarrassed by his actions. It's just that he knew Dick would probably record it, send it to every hero in his contacts, which was  _every_  hero, and probably put it online to go viral. Okay, so he probably wouldn't go THAT far, given the general secrecy he seemed to have regarding the baby. Still, Dick was absurdly sentimental and would do probably start cooing at Jason himself or something equally dumb.

The small effort of her actions seemed to tire her out, which wasn't surprising, given her young age. She let out a quiet yawn and tried to squirm closer into his hold. He chuckled to himself and a foreign warmth filled his chest at the sight. This is his niece. Blood or not, it's his niece. And she didn't seem to hate him. It was an irrational fear of his, that she'd despise him even if she was too young to really form those sort of connections. But she wasn't screaming or fighting against his hold. If anything, she was fighting to get even closer to him. It was almost enough to make his heart skip a beat. He ran a finger over cheek softly and whispered to her.

"Mírate... "

If Jason was being perfectly honest, he was in total awe of the little girl. It still baffled him that she shared his name. Yeah, he went over it almost obsessively in his head. But could you blame him? This was the first real familial connection he could recall having. Willis, Catherine, Sheila, even Bruce...they all left aching, painful feelings in his chest. But Jaye? He felt a sort of pride, a happiness when he thought of her.

"Mi preciosa sobrinita."

If asked how long he watched the infant sleep, Jason wouldn't be able to even begin to guess. He never thought it'd be relaxing to watch a baby sleep, but it really was. It wasn't until the child started squirming and whining that he realized he also dozed off. Jason blinked away the grogginess as he made soft shushing noises to try and calm her. With a glance at the clock, he noticed he nodded off for about an hour. It frightened him to realize that. Any number of things could have happened as he slept. She could have easily fallen from his grip as he sat on the couch. Even the idea of dropping her had him tightening his hold on Jaye just a bit more.

Maybe he was overreacting a little, but he couldn't help it. So much had gone wrong in his life, well,  _lives,_  but this right here? This was good so far. It numbed some of the hurt that raged inside him; quieted the hissing of the Pit. It anchored him in the present and reminded him that maybe, just maybe, things didn't have to be so bad. So, he feared he'd lose it, lose her, and be left to fight the black of his own pain by himself. He was fucking terrified to be alone again, with the monster lurking beneath his skin. It almost felt inevitable. Fate had a way of being a total bitch to him, and he wasn't talking about Nabu.

He stood and made his way to the kitchen to make the little girl a bottle. It seemed about time for her to eat. Using only one hand to navigate the kitchen was a hassle, but it was one he could handle. Sure, he could put her in her bassinet or in the baby swing, but he didn't want to, as silly as that sounded. He liked holding her. Aside from just enjoying the feeling of being an uncle in general, she kept him tied to reality. Feeling her curled in his arms made it harder for the fog of the Pit to get a hold of him. The fear of losing control was very real. But the threat felt lesser with Jaye here to keep him grounded.

Jason hummed quietly as he made the bottle. His mind drifted to the man in the next room and a heavy feeling settled in his gut. It was only a matter of time before Dick wanted to talk about what happened to him. Jason wasn't sure how to address it. The wounds, while years old, still felt so fresh and raw. Then there was the matter of morality. There was no way in hell Dick would ever agree with his view on killing scumbags like Blockbuster and Tarantula. They'd be lucky to walk away from that conversation with minimal bruising. And then there was Bruce. Fuck, he didn't even know where to even begin with  _that_. It all made him feel a bit sick. It felt like the sand in the hourglass was slipping by faster and faster. It was only a matter of time before this comfort he's found was torn away. He'd probably be the one ripping it to shreds because what else did he know to do but self-destruct? His heart clenched at the viperous imaginings racing through his head.

A heavy sigh left him as he tried to chase the invasive thoughts away. He gently held the bottle for Jaye to eat and just watched her for a moment. Then, he turned to look around the tiny kitchen in contemplation. One way he liked to keep his mind busy was keeping his hands busy. It just so happened that one of his favorite ways to do that was to cook. Jason had really gotten into the culinary arts when he lived at the manor with Alfred. He cut off that train of thought almost immediately. Alfie was one of the very few, if not the only person he truly missed. There was no green haze connected to the elderly man. But he hit his emotional quota for the week and really didn't want to get into any more breakdowns, if at all possible. Instead, he decided to busy himself with rifling through Dick's cabinets.

It was a bit awkward as he angled himself to keep the bottle propped with his chin to free a hand, but he managed. With each door opened and closed, Jason let out a disgruntled sound. How Dick was still alive with this sort of living, he wasn't entirely certain. Now, Jason wasn't a paragon of healthy eating himself. He loved chili dogs and greasy burgers just as much as the next guy and you'd have to fistfight him for the last six slices of pizza, but this was just appalling. Jason stared into the almost desolate fridge with a mixture of horror and sadness. It shouldn't be a surprise, given Dick's overall work schedule and all those takeout menus, but still. He let out a sigh as he shifted himself back to a comfortable posture. The cabinets were basically bare, save a few items. One cabinet was completely dedicated to baby food of various types and age ranges. That was the only thing he had a surplus of.

"Bebé pájaro, how is your dad still running around? Nobody can live off of forty-eight types of spices, a box of Crocky Crunch, and half a bottle of Sriracha. You need to tell him he's nuts. Just let him know it. Say, 'Papi, estás loco!' "

Jaye gave her uncle a sort of huff in response to his words. He smiled softly at the baby before he continued trying to figure out what the hell to do about food. There was a box of opened pancake mix that he was fairly certain was still good in one of the cabinets. That'd have to do for now. First and foremost, however, he'd have to get Jaye settled. She needed to be burped and her diaper changed. Then, he could focus on cooking. It didn't take much time to get that all done and without incident, thankfully. So far, she seemed like a pretty calm baby. Dick certainly lucked out in that department. Jason could remember the screams of colic babies and babies born with addictions from a careless parent all too well. Soon enough, people will learn they won't get away with that shit with the Red Hood around.

When Dick woke up, it was to a feeling of wrongness. His hands immediately sought out his daughter, who should be sleeping safely on his chest. He nearly had a heart attack when he realized she wasn't there. The memories of last night seemed more like a dream than anything. Dick leaped from his bed with wide, worried eyes. Then, the soft sound of music burrowed through his onsetting panic. Accompanying the sound was the scent of pancakes. He swallowed down his fear as well as his desire for those dreams to have been real. It could very well be Donna, who was the only one that knew about Jaye and had been coming by to help when she could. The lingering memories of his brother visiting him like the ghost of Christmas past still weighed heavy on his mind, daring him to get his hopes up. He crept toward the commotion with a mixture of anticipation and anxiety twisting in his gut. As much as he loved Donna, he would be crushed if it was her this time.

One thing Dick was not expecting to walk into was Jason in the kitchen, baby cradled in one arm and wielding a spatula in his free hand. Music could be heard emanating from somewhere near Jason. If Dick had to guess, he'd say it came from the man's phone. A grin was steadily creeping up his lips as he crept closer. Just over the music, Dick could hear Jason singing along.

_"Que tengo que hacer? Pa que vuelvas conmigo. Vamos a dejar el pasado atrás."_

If Dick's eyes weren't tricking him, then Jason was most definitely dancing in place as well. It took all his willpower not to start laughing at the sight. His heart felt ready to burst and tears pricked his eyes. The realization that this was actually happening, Jason was really back and here was nearly overwhelming. So much had gone wrong the past year. It almost made him want to give up time and time again, but he was glad he didn't. Otherwise, Dick would miss the sight of the little brother he was sure he lost forever dancing and singing to his daughter as he made breakfast. Dick took a moment to marvel at the fact that Jason was able to cook and flip the food with no trouble, despite the baby taking up an arm. After another moment of watching, he stepped closer.

"Here, let me take her off your hands."

Now, he was certain Jay would deny it until his second death, but Dick is absolutely positive he just let out a rather unmanly yelp. Jason shifted away from his grasp and whacked at his hands with the spatula.

"Nope. Shouldn't you be asleep for the next, oh I don't know, ten hours or so? You're sleep deprived."

Dick rolled his eyes, though he fought down a small grin.

"Dymaxion cycle, though I just fucked it up."

At that, Jason snorted and mimicked his eye roll. It wouldn't be too hard for Dick to fall back into his odd sleeping pattern, if one could truly call it that. It worked most effectively for his lifestyle, so he couldn't complain. Adopting sleep cycles other than the monophasic wasn't unusual for his family or other heroes for that matter. It just worked out better for them in the end, what with their hectic schedules and 'jobs'.

"What a surprise. And watch your mouth, virgin ears are present."

He quirked a brow at Jason with an amused look on his face. The affection for Jaye was just rolling off his brother in waves. It was heartwarming, really. If he had his phone on him, Dick would definitely be recording this, or taking pictures at least. He wanted a way to look back at this moment and know it wasn't all in his head. All those fever dreams and forays with scare gas have made it difficult to trust his own perception of reality. Not to mention his own fragile mental state from recent events didn't exactly give him confidence in himself. The thoughts were brushed away with a small grin

"Jaye's too young to remember any of this let alone comprehend what we're saying."

Jason gave him a flat, deadpan look at that.

"I was talking about me, pendejo."

Dick couldn't help but laugh. It was good to know he didn't lose his sense of humor after all this time.

"Oh, please, you've got like the third dirtiest mouth I've heard."

If there was one word to describe Jason's expression, it'd be affronted. He looked like Dick just personally insulted everything he held dear.

" _Third_  dirtiest? Now that's just hurtful, Dickhead. I need to up my game."

Knowing Jason and his stubborn nature, he would absolutely start using much more colorful vocabulary, if for no other reason than to prove Dick wrong. He couldn't help but laugh under his breath at Jason's antics. It felt so good to just stand here, joking around like nothing changed even though everything had changed. They both knew it, could feel the fragile peace hanging by a thread. One wrong word would shatter it. So, Dick danced around his words carefully, not willing to be the one that drops the other shoe. If he had to play this balancing act to keep his brother here, then so be it.

"Pfft, I don't know Jay, an angry Roy is pretty mouthy. And have you  _met_  Rose? God, we could buy a new Batjet with the money from the swear jar from her alone."

He got a dry sort of scoff in response.

"Didn't get the pleasure of meeting her. I was a little busy taking a dirt nap."

Just like that, the fragile balance teetered off the side. Dick went quiet and the grin slipped from his face. The hero couldn't help but marvel at just how quickly he managed to fuck things up. One sentence. He couldn't make it one damn sentence without saying the wrong thing. He averted his gaze from Jason, who had gone almost eerily still. The tension in the atmosphere spiked as the two remained silent. The music continued to play in the background, an almost laughable contrast to the current ambiance.

It was as if neither of them knew how to handle the situation, which wasn't far from the truth. The reminder of Jason's death, even if only meant as a joke, still twisted something in Dick's heart. He clenched his fists in an effort to keep his tumultuous emotions in check. It seemed like everything left him raw and ready to shatter as of late. Dick  _hated_  that. He  _hated_  how deeply they left their claws in him.  _Hated_  how much they affected him, twisted and broke him. Just looking at Jason now felt like it made the cracks in his armor spiderweb.

He hadn't meant to bring it up. The conversation just got comfy and he got carried away with his words. How often did he let his emotions guide his mouth? Too much, he figured. It was something others mentioned to him; how his heart led him despite his best efforts to remain objective. Dick sighed and turned his gaze back to Jason, ready to apologize for the carelessness of his words. Before he could get a word in, Jason was handing the baby to him.

"Make yourself useful, Dickface. I need to finish these."

He took his daughter without hesitation, though the shame still weighed heavy on him. Fuck, he couldn't do anything right anymore, could he? Dick gave a soft, somber grin to the baby girl as he made his way to his small, shitty table.

"You have fun with tío, čhavi?"

What he got in response were a sleepy blink and a wide yawn. He chuckled quietly. Well, he got one thing right, so far. Jaye would never be a mistake to him, even if the memory of her mother made him feel queasy. The thought of Catalina made his stomach churn violently and lit his nerves on fire. The thought of that night, what she did, what he almost did under her manipulation, usually left him trembling on the verge of a panic attack. So much had gone wrong that night, so much, but God, if he wasn't grateful for his daughter. It still hurt to look at her sometimes, if he was being completely honest. That, in itself, was enough to drive home the self-loathing he felt. How could he see her and feel pain and terror? This is his daughter. He should never feel those things when looking at her.

"Stop it."

His attention was drawn back to Jason as a paper plate with about six pancakes on it was shoved toward him.

"Stop what?"

Dick was genuinely confused. Jason just shot him a look as he sat down heavily at the small table. He was a little surprised the chair didn't snap like a pile of twigs under Jason. His little brother wasn't so little anymore. The fact that he outgrew Dick by a few inches and easily a good amount of weight was almost startling. Last he remembered, Jason was just a small, scrappy kid with not enough meat on his bones. Now here he is, almost eye-level with Bruce and looking as if he crush someone underfoot. He made a vague hand gesture at Dick.

" _That._  The brooding and shit. I can feel you angsting from over here. Feels like I just walked into Hot Topic on a Friday afternoon."

That successfully drew a slightly startled laugh from Dick. Jaye squirmed at the sudden and unexpected movement. It took a few moments for Dick to catch his breath. Meanwhile, Jason just smirked smugly, pleased with having diffused the situation. After he calmed his breathing a bit, Dick looked over his brother with a growing grin.

"You'd know. You look like you could be the poster child for that place. I'm surprised they got clothes to fit you, Edge Lord."

Jason gave an exaggerated stretch to further show off his 'outfit', which was really just his Red Hood uniform sans the armored pieces. Then, he turned his attention to the cooling pancakes as he spoke.

"It was tricky. I had to cut some things up and sew them together, but that's fine. I make 'homeless zombie' look good. Even got the cashier's number."

Dick let out a breathy chuckle and shook his head slightly.

"You hear this, Jaye? Your uncle is so goofy. When did you get so funny, Little Wing?"

If only Dick knew how that old nickname affected Jason. It was there, in the slight twitch of his hand and the way he swallowed as if suddenly caught by a wave of emotion. He could see it, but he wasn't sure whether it was a good or bad reaction. That contemplation was pushed to the background once Jason flashed him a somewhat forced cheeky grin.

"Learned it from the Grim Reaper. Funny guy, though he's got  _terrible_  bedside manners, let me tell you."

There was a running theme in his commentary, Dick could tell. He let out a low, theatrical groan. He was fairly certain this was Jason's method of coping with the horrors he went through. If that was the case, then Dick could play along, even if it made him minutely uncomfortable to joke about. Whatever it took to help Jay and keep him close. Dick wasn't there for him before, this was the least he could do.

"Oh god, this is gonna be a thing with you now, isn't it? Death jokes for every situation."

That shit-eating grin only widened at Dick's reaction.

"Absolutely! It'll be like Hall Mark but morbid."

Dick snorted at the idea. He could really see Jason running with the idea. Now he was half-expecting to receive a 'Merry Deathday' card or something on April 27. If he really got such a thing, he wasn't entirely certain how he'd react. He sighed in a theatrical manner, as if put upon by the turn of conversation.

"I  _guess_  everybody needs a gimmick in this business."

His melodramatic words played into this little game Jason had going on. It earned him a somewhat pleased smirk.

"You got it, Dickface. Yours is shitty fashion choices and even worse puns. Mine's reminding everyone I died once through fantastic jokes and zippy one-liners. By the way, did you know I died once?"

If he groaned any harder, Dick was pretty sure his lungs would burst. No matter how many years passed, nobody would ever let him live down his 'Discowing' or 'mullet' faze.

"Jesus Christ, I haven't had enough coffee yet for this. Or whiskey. Whiskey sounds good right about now."

" _Someone_  woke up on the wrong side of the coffin today."

"My title as the Funny Robin is being threatened. I can't believe this."

"You're damn right Wing-Ding. Viva la revolución, bitch."

Try as he might, Dick could suppress the laughter that shook his body at that. Jason faired no better as he silently laughed behind his hand, as if embarrassed to be caught doing so. As the conversation petered out, their attention was turned to their food. The silence as they ate was much more amicable than before. The underlying current of unease was still there, but it was hidden behind the warmth of their banter. It wouldn't last, they both knew it. Peace never lasted with them. That didn't mean they couldn't enjoy the lingering happiness while it was there. They've learned to take what they could get while they could get it. Moments like this were fleeting and far between with their lifestyle and clashing personalities.

It wasn't until after Dick had settled Jaye into her swing and sat back down that the tentative calm was broken.

"So..."

The look on Jason's face was methodically blank, which was a giant warning sign that whatever he was about to bring up wasn't going to be good. Dick mentally prepared himself, though he had a gut feeling this was going to suck. Their family wasn't known for having the ability to handle emotions well. There were far too many of  _those_ popping up the past two days. It's what he got for bottling things up, he supposed. That didn't make talking about what was bothering him any easier. He gave Jason his attention with a similarly blank mask and waited for him to continue.

"Alright, shit, no good way to ask so I'm just gonna come out with it. Is Tarantula the mother?"

Even though Dick had been expecting the question at some point, it still left him feeling sort of nauseous. He attempted to keep just how much it affected him hidden. The slight narrowing of Jason's eyes let him know he wasn't entirely successful. He cleared his throat in an effort to rid himself of the slight choking sensation that kept his words captive. One slow breath later and Dick found himself ready to talk.

"Yeah, she...she's Jaye's mom."

That was the first time Dick ever admitted it out loud and it felt just as horrible as he expected. It felt  _wrong_  to say it. The distaste must have been evident on his face because Jason sneered slightly.

"No, she's her  _mother,_  her genetic donor. She ain't her mom. There's a big fuckin' difference. She'll  _never_  be Jaye's mom."

The words were more comforting than Dick would have thought possible. He closed his eyes for a moment and just breathed deeply. That was something he needed to hear but didn't realize it. Jason was right. She may have given birth to his daughter, but she would  _never_  be a part of her life. Not if he had any say in it.

"Right. You're right. Thanks."

He was glad Jason politely ignored the slight tremor in his voice. Dick couldn't  _wait_  for the day he could talk about  _her_  and this whole situation without feeling like he was cracking apart. The fact that he felt so damn weak, even after almost a year, grated on his nerves. He was drawn out of his inner turmoil by his brother's voice. The sharp look he was getting had Dick feeling as if Jason knew where his thoughts were heading. Ordinarily, he'd tease Dick about being right, but not this time.

"Nothin' to thank me for. Just stating the facts. "

Sometimes, in situations such as a this, Dick was reminded that Jason saw quite a lot on the streets and knew how to deal with certain victims, victims like  _him_  (and wasn't  _that_  something that pained him to admit), better than anyone else in the family.

"If she tries to come within a hundred yards of Jaye, I'll break her fucking legs."

And then at other times, he was reminded just how blunt his baby brother was. Dick gave him a small, somewhat amused grin. Sure, Dick might not condone excessive violence in  _every_  situation, but he found himself hard pressed to be upset by the mental imagery the words brought him. If such an opportunity arose, the hero couldn't say with any degree of confidence that he'd even try to stop Jason from doing exactly as he said. After all, they've done worse to lesser criminals.

"What do you know, it looks like I'll be out sick that day and won't be able to stop you. Crazy, huh?"

Jason gave a low, rough chuckle. There was a look,  _that_ look, in his eyes again. It was something less than stable and bordering on feral. Dick wasn't sure  _what_  it meant, but something in his gut told him that he wouldn't like it if he knew. It reminded Dick of the night Jason attacked him. Nothing good could come from  _that_  look. He saw the very same expression and light elsewhere. In the face of those he arrested. In the ones that crossed the line. Somewhere between death and the Lazarus Pit, Jason changed and Dick feared it was for the worse. It made him uneasy to see the look of a killer on the face of his little brother. Maybe it was foolishly naive to blatantly deny the obvious, especially after what Jason had done to him, but Dick refused to believe Jason could take a life.

While he was busy trying to analyze the shift in his brother's persona, Jason seemed to be struggling with some sort of internal battle. That vicious, shark-like expression looked as if it were being forcefully pushed down. He could see the younger man's grip tightening on the silverware. That unnatural green hue seemed stuck between flaring up and fading away. This must be what Jason meant about having Lazarus episodes. It was worrying. More than that, it was upsetting. Upsetting because Dick felt so helpless, so  _useless._  He had no idea how to make it better. All he wanted to do was drive away that which tormented Jay, but he  _couldn't_. So, since Dick couldn't beat the demons lurking Jason's brain away, he did the next best thing.

He flicked a bit of pancake at Jason's head. Because he was so caught up with his own issues, the morsel of food managed to nail him right between the eyes. Dick looked on in amusement as Jason blinked in surprise, successfully distracted from the mess in his head. Then, those blue-green eyes narrowed at the unspoken challenge.

"Sorry, little bro, you looked like you were thinking too hard. Didn't want you to hurt yourself."

He gave Jason a crooked grin as he spoke. It looked as if Jay were trying to fight down his own little smirk.

"Oh, it's so on Dickface."

He had to duck out of the way from a chunk of flying pancake, only to get hit by a follow-up piece. Dick had to give it to him, Jason had some great aim. Breakfast quickly devolved into the two adults flinging their food back and forth as if they were seven years old again. Their laughter grew louder as they got more extravagant in their maneuvers. Flipping about as they were was completely unnecessary in a food fight, but they were nothing if not competitive. Not only were they trying to land more hits than the other, but they were trying to do so in the most complicated and impressive manner possible.

Somehow,  _that_  ended up with them wrestling across the floor and knocking over what sparse possessions Dick owned. The old, battered table cracked and then collapsed after Jason tackled Dick through it. Jaye was startled awake by the loud 'BANG' and let out a wail of fear. The two men immediately ceased their rough-housing and rushed to calm the upset infant. Their overprotective natures were very obvious in the way they hovered and coddled her. Jason looked over the wreckage with an almost sheepish expression.

"Uh...sorry."

Dick just looked over the mess and snorted. He was far too happy at the moment to care about a broken table. Hell, this was the happiest he's been in months. Nothing short of a catastrophe was going to bring him down from here.

"It's fine Little Wing, I needed a new table anyway. Hold her while I clean it up?"

Though it was phrased as a question, he left little choice as he pushed Jaye into Jason's arms. His brother floundered for a moment, having wanted to decline and help fix the mess he made. Dick wanted him to hold his niece. Jason seemed happiest with the little girl in his arms. He'd do damn near anything to make sure Jason stayed happy.

His daughter remained crying and squirming while Jason did his best to soothe the frantic baby. His efforts were fruitless as she continued crying. She seemed set in her fit, now that she was startled awake. The slightly lost look on Jason's face as he dealt with the inconsolable child was priceless.

"Shh, shh it's okay Jaye. Daddy and tío are sorry. We didn't mean to scare you. Dick, what uh..what was that song you were singing to her before? She likes that, right?"

It was clear Jason was uncomfortable bringing up  _that_  night, but he was desperate to calm his niece down. Dick looked up and tried to smother his soft grin. Then, he momentarily abandoned his clean up duty to take a seat on the couch, making sure to grab her pacifier on the way, and motioned for Jason to do the same.

"Yep, she likes it. It's called Mori Shej, a Romani lullaby-"

Jason let out a disgruntled sound as took the pacifier and he rocked her gently.

"Yeah yeah, skip the history lesson. She's gonna scream her lungs out."

Dick's lips twitched slightly as he watched his brother try to calm his daughter. The sheer volume of joy and affection he felt threatened to overwhelm him.

"Alright, jeez. It starts out like this.  _Buter káj egy berseszki szán. Móri drágo piko séj_..."

The way Jason stumbled over the foreign words as he tried to sing his niece to sleep was downright adorable, not that Dick would ever say that to his face. He liked his jaw unbroken, thank you very much. The little girl sniffled and tried to squirm her way closer to her uncle as his deep voice rumbled out her favored lullaby.

_"Buter káj egy berseszki szán. Móri drágo piko séj..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY'RE HAPPY. WOW. It's not going to last, but I figured I'd cut them some slack this time.
> 
> They both have so much wrong with them to work on. I legit made a list of things to go over with them, but I feel I might be missing some stuff. There's so much shit to remember and my memory is notoriously horrible lol
> 
> If you have any suggestions, I'd love to read them! DC didn't do a good job of handling their various issues (shocker) and so I wrote this as a sort of cathartic fic. The issues never being addressed is driving me up the damn wall, and it seems it's doing the same to a lot of you as well! That's why I'd love to know if there's anything any of you would want to be addressed as well. 
> 
> ALSO: I'm thinking of working on another fic, but I can't decide if I want to do a mixed young DC character Gang fic ooor Dick taking in the Robins/batkids instead of Bruce (i.e. finding Jason jacking the tires instead of B, taking in Timbo, etc. etc.) and basically making it like The Bird's Nest. (again, I'm a sucker for dad Dick and Batkid bonding)

**Author's Note:**

> -sad party horn noises- tada.  
> Anyway, Jason will definitely be paying Tarantula a visit. I have so much salt about that ENTIRE thing and how it was handled. Lord help Mirage if ever finds out about her raping Dick too and how he got victim-blamed/slut-shamed for it. And how Bruce didn’t tell him about Jay. (that will also be more thoroughly gone through) My poor baby, someone needs to fucking help him. DC, you suck.
> 
> And Jason referencing to how they first met really did happen in-comic. Along with the Robin suit, that's when Dick gave Jason his number and is like 'Bro, call me whenever u want.' (im paraphrasing but w/e) There's such untapped potential between the two for bonding. I just want to shake DC.


End file.
